Quite frankly I am getting sick of some peoples attitude to me. I’m a girl and yes I do Computing Science, why the hell does that seem to suggest to some that I am less intelligent than any of the guys around?
I’ll admit I’m not the most confident programmer. I felt I had only really just got Ada pinned before I had to learn Java and not to mention the horrors of C. I ask people when I have problems, if I don’t quite understand a problem I’ll talk to someone else and try and understand it with them. Isn’t that what everyone does? It’s a necessary part of learning any subject, but even more, we are lead to believe, within a Computing (Programming) background.
I know everyone does it, cause I’ve seen you. Yet I try and become part of these conversations and suddenly I am a hanger-on, cause the “guys” believe I have no useful information to give.
I’m always the last person someone asks if they need help, people look shocked if I even try to answer a question, most of the time they just ignore my input anyway.
This isn’t the best feeling, for those of us which work hard and do well, it’s a harsh blow to be continually knocked down. Thing is there are many ways I can solve this, just continue to grin and bear it and ask for help when I need it, but why should I have to?
I could say “screw you” and not ask for help, but “hey if you do ever get desperate enough to need my help then you know where you can go”. I’ve tried this and shock horror it made no difference to anyone but me. I like helping people, the teaching gene (unfortunately) is in my DNA and I can’t avoid it, plus I don’t get a satisfaction out of proving my point in this way.
I don’t mean to go on a feminist rant here, because that isn’t what this is about for me. I don’t want this to be about my sex, my hair colour or anything else of that kind, this for me is purely about being recognised as someone who has a worthwhile point of view and all I want is to give it.